Life Update

Hello dears,  I don't even know where to begin...

...so much has changed so far in 2013:

January welcomed the birth of our son, Tyler.  He has been an absolute joy and wonderful blessing to our lives.  I love spending my days with him.  He started sleeping through the night (8-10 hours) when he was 7 weeks old and usually wakes up smiling and cooing.  About a week before our son was born we had an 18-year-old girl move in with us.  She had been converted to Christ, but had fallen away as a result of her environment.  She wanted to get back on the right track with God and she already had a place in our hearts so we offered her a room in our home.  The first few weeks were very rough, especially as I was dealing with all the emotional ups-and-downs of being a new momma.  For the most part, everyone gets on very smoothly and I've come to really enjoy having her around.

February was a blur.  I don't remember anything too significant happening during that month.  I spent most of my time taking care of and cuddling with our precious little boy...which I absolutely loved!

March was fairly uneventful as well.  I started blogging again and have realized that it's too much to keep up with a schedule.  I'm just going to blog when I have the time...which won't be as often as I would like.  I have SO much that I want to share with you though!  I have still been able to do a few projects here and there.  Hopefully I'll be able to share them with you soon.

April brought a visit from my parents...aka Granny and Papaw.  Papaw taught Ryan how to replace drywall and install a shower surround in our upstairs bathroom - which we hadn't used since March of 2011 because water had gotten to the drywall and caused mold to grow and we just hadn't had the money to fix it.  So, with our tax return we finally fixed our upstairs shower...I LOVE having our shower back!  Especially having another person in the house!  Papaw and Granny might have spoiled our little guy just a bit.  But that's alright.  That's what grandparents are for, right!?!?

This month also brought a great surprise!  On the 15th I received this message from Jenn at Clean&Scentsible:

 

Hi Jessica!

Congratulations!!! You are the winner of the $1000 custom closet organization system from Easy Closets!! Please confirm your email and I will forward your information to Easy Closets.   I hope you enjoy your prize!  We would love to see what you do with it!

Jenn

I couldn't believe my eyes!  I read, re-read, re-read, and re-read the e-mail again.  Then the tears started.  We had won!  I sat at my computer for at least ten minutes, still in amazement that we had really won this amazing prize!  Our master closet is a major need of some organizational help.  This is perfect for us!  - A special and huge "THANK YOU" to the amazing hosts of the Spring Cleaning Challenge and this amazing Giveaway:  Clean & Scentsible, Ask Anna, Clean Mama, I Dream of Clean, A Real-life Housewife, and Spring Cleaning 365.  And of course, I want to thank Easy Closets for sponsoring the giveaway and making this prize possible!  I will definitely be sharing our closet makeover with you all!

As exciting and wonderful as the beginning of the month was, there had to be a challenge waiting for us:  Ryan's overtime stopped.  Initially they told him it would start back up in a week.  A week came and went and overtime still wasn't starting back up.  By the end of April we came to the conclusion that overtime isn't going to start back up anytime soon, perhaps not until November.  This is very bad for us financially.  We made some ignorant decision in the past and now we're paying for them.  Ryan was working 16-20 hours overtime a week.  We need for him to work at least 12.  Thus April was an emotionally and spiritually challenging month for us...and we're still trying to figure things out.  Which brings us to...

May.  Today is May 6th and this has already been the longest month ever!  On May 2nd we got Ryan's first 40 hour paycheck since the winter holidays.  Needless to say this kind of woke both of us up.  We have to do something to bring in a supplemental income.  I am going to be opening an Etsy shop as soon as I have a small collections of items ready.  This is something I have been considering doing for some time now, but our financial situation has given me a final push to really put things together and take the plunge!  I'm really excited and hope this can help us so Ryan doesn't have to get a second job.  On May 5th we took an even bigger plunge and signed up to be distributors of Young Living Essential Oils!  Ryan and I are very excited and cannot wait to receive our oils!  As soon as I have more information I will share it with you.  Until then, please feel free to visit www.youngliving.com for more information.  You'll be glad you did!  Backing up to May 2nd:  This was the first night that little man slept in his crib...in his own room...away from mommy and daddy!  He slept all through the night...just like usual!  This pushed me to work on his crib bedding some more.  I had finished the crib skirt in April and so on Friday, May 3rd I made one of his crib sheets.  More on those two projects later! 

My current "To-Do" list is ginormous and the amount of "free time" that I have is anything but!  However, I know I can make it through.  I serve a Mighty and Powerful God who has always been there to be the strength that I need to survive the tough times, a wonderful, loving husband to encourage, help, support, comfort and just be there for me, our precious son to make me smile when I feel like crying, a wonderful spiritual family close in proximity and physical family who are close at heart.  I am blessed and so very thankful that God considers me and that He has blessed me so bountifully.

As you can see there's a lot going on at the Pugh home.  Lord willing, I'll be able to share bits and pieces with you along the way.  Thanks for listening and being a source of support and encouragement for me!  You're wonderful!

Loving My Husband

Since Tyler entered our lives and my role expanded to include that of "Mommy" I have really had to keep myself in check so that I am not neglecting the role I took on December 2, 2010, when I vowed to love my husband until death do us part.  (See this post for a in-depth study of this command.) This was very challenging for me at first.  Tyler's needs were such that the majority of my time was devoted to him.  That really hasn't changed much, and I don't expect it to anytime soon.  However, my super-wonderful, tender-loving, oh-so-understanding husband has needs, too: spiritual, emotional, and physical.  If I am to keep this vow (I'm only focusing this one for now...though I vowed much more on that blessed day) then I must make time to fulfill his needs.  

Occasionally this means that Tyler has to wait for one or more of his needs to be met.  No, we don't leave our son screaming for a bottle, sitting in a messy diaper, or crying hysterically just so we can have some "alone" time.  We love our son dearly and we both understand that his needs are often more pressing than our own.  Generally speaking we are able to wait until he's cooing in his bouncer or sleeping soundly before we take time to focus on each other.  

There are times when I shift my focus from Tyler to Ryan in an effort to show Ryan the love and attention he needs.  For example, I might be in the middle of feeding Tyler a bottle when Ryan calls on his lunch break.  For those of you who have ever fed a 2-month-old a bottle, you know it requires two hands - one to hold the baby, and one to hold the bottle.  So, when daddy calls, the bottle gets put down and the phone is picked up.  Daddy and I have a brief conversation - usually less than 3 minutes - and then I pick up the bottle and finish feeding Tyler.  Yes, Tyler may fuss a bit while the bottle is out of his mouth, but he is okay.  Some days Ryan really needs to hear my voice to help him make it through the day at work, especially when he generally works 6, 10-12 hour days a week.  Instances like this happen several times throughout the day.  I'm in the middle of doing something with Tyler, Ryan needs my attention, I give him my attention, and then return to finish caring for Tyler.  Tyler is home with me all day and he knows his mommy loves him.  It's good for him to see the love and devotion Ryan and I have for one another and to understand that he is not the center of our world.  God is the center, then we have each other, and then Tyler.

Sadly, there have been a few times when Ryan has called me out for paying more attention or talking nicer to Tyler than I am him.  Recently I have been striving harder to continually reaffirm my love for Ryan.  I don't want him to ever question or have any reason to doubt my love for him.  This has made our marriage stronger, more fulfilling and over-all more enjoyable.  The more I love Ryan, the more he loves me, and the stronger our love grows.  It's a beautiful, God-pleasing experience.

I hope this has encouraged you consider how you can shower your spouse with some extra time, love and devotion.
 

Snowy Christmas Wish List Printables

This year my husband and I decided to buy each other gifts for Christmas.  Even though we don't celebrate the holiday as Christ's Birthday, we've decided to start a few family traditions from this winter holiday.  My husband suggested we each make a list of some things we would like so that the other person would be able to choose things the other would really appreciate and enjoy.  

So of course, I "had" to make a cute little printable for our wishlists!  I even decided to share them with you!

Both of these should print nicely on 8.5" x 11" paper.

Design Credit:  Fancy Frame from Ginny @ Organizing Homelilfe

Fonts Used:  Janda Happy Day "Christmas Wish List" & Edwardian Script ITC numers

Have a wonderful Holiday!

Love,

Linking at:

The Sunday Showcase Party @ Under the Table and Dreaming
Our Favorite Things Link Party @ My Life's a Treasure
Making the World Cuter Monday @ Making the World Cuter
Made by You Monday @ Skip to My Lou 
Mop It Up Monday @ I Should Be Mopping the Floor
Tutorials and Tips Link Party @ Home Stories A to Z
Take-A-Look Tuesday @ Sugar Bee Crafts
Titus 2 Tuesday @ Cornerstone Confessions
Lil' Luna Link Party @ Lil' Luna
Home Decor and Organizing Link Party @ Organize and Decorate Everything 
The Creative Spark @ Clean and Scentsible
Wow Me Wednesday @ Ginger Snap Crafts
Whatever Goes Wednesday @ Someday Crafts
Delightfully Inspiring Thursday Party @ Delightful Order
The 36th Avenue Party Time @ The 36th Avenue
Frugal Friday @ The Shabby Nest
Finished Friday @ All Our Days 
Feature Yourself Friday @ Fingerprints on the Fridge 

Maternity Photo Shoots

My husband and I are blessed to have a beautiful young lady in our lives who loves photography and who takes gorgeous pictures!  She's not a "professional" as some would use the term, but I would definitely say her work is of a professional quality!  We did two photo sessions with Shelby, one in mid-November and the other in early December.  Thanks to the every changing and unpredictable weather here in Indiana we're wearing sweaters in the November shoot and short sleeves in the December shoot.

Now, without further adieu, here are our beautiful maternity photos!

Aren't they wonderful?!?!  We certainly think so!

Lord willing, we will finally meet our little guy in less than six weeks!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Love,

Baby Shower!

This past Saturday I was blessed with an opportunity to gather with my momma, sisters, MIL, SIL, GIL and many of my sisters-in-Christ to celebrate the up-coming birth of our son.  We shared a light lunch, played some games and learned some interesting facts about babies, birth and pregnancy.  To wrap up our time together I opened the many gifts baby and I were showered with.  I was very emotional and couldn't read all the sweet things people wrote in our cards because they would bring on the water-works. 

I feel so blessed to have so many family and friends that love us, are excited for us, and wanted to provide things to help us as we bring our little guy into the world.  Even some who weren't able to come sent gifts!  God is certainly to be praised!  Generous and loving hearts are such a blessing!

Heaven

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” - Revelation 21:4
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How often do we take time to meditate on the wonder and glory of Heaven?  Not often enough, I'm sure.  If we did, we would always be seeking that which is spiritual, rather than the fleeting pleasures this life has to offer.  Perhaps, we would even long for our life here to be over so that we could be closer to eternal paradise.

The psalmist David thought about Heaven a great deal.  We would do well to imitate his example.  Here are just a few verses from the psalms where he focuses on heaven:

• "The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork." - Psalm 19:1
• "Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds." - Psalm 36:5
• "For Your mercy reaches unto the heavens, And Your truth unto the clouds." - Psalm 57:10
• "Let heaven and earth praise Him, The seas and everything that moves in them." - Psalm 69:34
• "For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;" - Psalm 103:11

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There are also many verses in the New Testament that teach us how to live our lives here on earth while maintaining a focus on heaven.  Here are a few I would like to share with you and encourage you to mediate on: 

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)

• In this passage Jesus warns us against becoming attached to the things of this world.  Those who have set their heart on the worldly possessions have no room for Jesus, or God the Father.  We should check ourselves to see that our heart is truly focused on Heaven and not on attaining worldly goods.  I do not believe it is wrong to have possessions, or to enjoy the fruits of our labors, but we must be careful that we do not love the things of this world.  (1 Timothy 6:9-11)

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven." (Matthew 7:21)

• We must be busy doing the will of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ if we want to enter Heaven.  In order to know what His will is, we must spend time reading, studying, meditating and applying His Word in our daily lives.

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself." (Philippians 2:20, 21)

• Even though we have an earthly citizenship, we must not lose focus on our heavenly citizenship.  We must live as God commands in order to maintain this citizenship.  One sin is capable of stripping us of this wonderful blessing.  We need to have a mindset such that we will not allow ourselves to do anything that might cost us our heavenly citizenship.

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Where are you laying up treasures?
Whose will are you doing throughout your daily walk?
Where is your citizenship?

 

...to be obedient to their own husbands...

Of all the qualities older women are to admonish young women to possess and exhibit, this is probably the least accepted in our American society today.  However, this does not diminish the importance of this command.  So, let's take a serious look at what God expects of us as we strive to fulfill this requirement.

Here are the definitions I found for the Greek word for "obedient," hypotasso.
Strong's:  "to put in subjection, subject, subordinate; to submit to, be subject to"
Thayer's:  "to subject one's self to, to obey; to submit to one's control; to yield to one's admonition or advice."
Vine's:  "being in subjection to"

From these definitions, it's clear to me that when I chose to marry my husband, I was also choosing to submit myself to his leadership - in everything, just as I am to submit to Christ in everything (Ephesians 5:24).  God desires for wives to submit to their husbands in the same manner we are to submit ourselves to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).  This is why I was very carefully in choosing who I married.  Even though we had only known one another for about a month I knew he loved God and would always love me and lead me in such a way that would be pleasing to God.  That was all I need to know.  Almost 2 years later, I don't think I could have found anyone better!  He is a wonderful spiritual leader, loves me through his deeds and words, listens when I have a suggestion, and almost never makes a decision without first considering my thoughts and feelings, especially if the decision will effect me more than it will effect him.  He's not a tyrant and doesn't ask me to do anything ridiculous or anything beyond my capabilities.  Actually, he hardly ever asks me to do anything.  This is because I too fear God and take my role as a disciple of Christ, wife, mother, and homemaker very seriously.  He doesn't need to tell me what to do because I do my best to stay on top of things.  I'm really not trying to brag here, but rather make a point:  If we as wives are doing what God has commanded us to do then it's easier for our husbands to lead us in a loving way.

We should also note that being submissive in "everything" doesn't mean everything he could possibly ask us to do, it only means what is in accordance to God's Word.  If our husband is wanting us to do something that goes against God's will (ie. lie, steal), we do not have to obey, and should not obey because we are to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29).

When we obey our husbands we are pleasing the Lord and are only doing what is our duty to do (Colossians 3:18).

May we always seek to please God in all we do so that He may be glorified.

Tyler and I are 5 months along!

Okay, so this is kinda late.  I was 5 months on September 6th.  Little Tyler and I went up to our monthly O.B. appointment and all seems to be going well!  Tyler is measuring right on schedule and I'm slowly but surely putting on a few pounds here and there.  The Dr. is confident Tyler is fairly healthy because of how active he is.  He was moving around so much that she wasn't able to read his actual heartbeat, but had to settle for getting a read through his umbilical cord.  It was on the lower side, but she said that was probably because it was coming through the umbilical cord.  I love feeling my little boy squirm and kick inside me.  Makes me that much more excited to be able to hold and love on him.  So thankful for our little blessing.

...to be homemakers...

Before I begin this study I want to make it clear that I am not in any way condemning any of you who may be or know a woman who works outside the home.  I have worked outside the home as a married woman myself (more on that later). I realize there are some cases in which it may not be avoidable.  I am just going to share what God's Word says on the matter, my personal opinions on the matter and what my husband and I have agreed to do in our home.  Now, let's see what we can learn from God's Word.

As with all of my previous studies in this series, I am going to begin with sharing what I learned when I did a Greek word study of the word "homemaker."  I feel that looking into the original Greek is very important because it gives us much needed insight to the original meaning of the text.  Having a better understanding of the text allows me to make accurate applications as I strive to live my life for Christ.

The Greek word used here is oikourgus.  This word, according to Strong's, Thayer's and Vine's, means:
1) caring for the house, working at home
     a)  the watcher or keeper of the house
     b)  keeping at home and taking care of household affairs
     c)  being domestic

It's obvious to me that God desires for women, especially those who are married and have children - as they have already been mentioned in this section of scripture (Titus 2:4) - to be at home and attend to the domestic needs of the home.  What He desires for women who are single is made clear in 1 Corinthians 7:34 "There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband."  God desires for unmarried women to focus their lives in service to Him.  A woman who is married has another person she must consider, her husband.  Pleasing and serving him is second only to her service to God.

Before my husband and I married I had graduated from college with a bachelor's degree, worked most of the way through college, and was a substitute teacher at my elementary school.  I had been out in the workforce since my freshman year of college and was used to being very busy.  I also feel it's needful to mention that these years were not my best years spiritually, but rather some of my weakest.  Being around worldly people who do not exercise godly principals can be very draining, discouraging and damaging to a young woman's faith (no, it doesn't have to be if she has made her faith her own and stands firm on God's word, but I hadn't reached that point yet).  

After we married I was fairly content being at home and taking care of the home.  He was working a few hours of overtime a week, we were settling into an apartment together, and spending a lot of time just hanging out and learning more about each other.  Once we bought a house and moved into town things changed.  He began working 16-20 hours of over time a week and once we were settled in, I was running out of things to do and missing the interaction I had with our previous neighbors (who all happened to be young couples who were members of our congregation).  My husband and I decided I could have a part-time job, as long as I stayed on top of my duties at home.  This worked for a while, until work wore me out so much that Ryan was getting my "leftovers."  Once we realized this was going on and how detrimental it had been to our marriage I quit my job and began working for a couple we worshiped with.  I was working about half the hours and the environment was much less stressful.  This, too, worked for a while.  Then things came up and I left that job, too.  

By this time I was actually missing being able to just be at home and take care of the things here.  I had grown spiritually and my desire was to be the woman God desired me to be, rather than the woman the world expected me to be.  I've now been a homemaker for about six months and have never been happier.  I have ample time to attend to the basic needs (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.) and am able to enjoy other things like my blog, decorating, organizing, etc.  I also have more time to devote to strengthening my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father, a blessing I truly treasure!  Being a homemaker also allows me the opportunity to spend time with my sisters in Christ, most of which are also homemakers, during the day, without taking time away from my husband.  I'm also able to do other forms of service for others that I would not have time to do if I was out in the workforce.  I feel truly blessed to be able to be a keeper at home.

Now, many of you may be thinking, "how do you do it financially?"  My husband works in a factory and brings home a little over $600 a week when he works 18-20 hours of overtime.  His overtime has been cut recently, so as you can imagine he's bringing home a lot less these days.  Even with the overtime, he doesn't make a lot when you take into consideration a mortgage payment, auto insurance, utilities, etc.  Basically, we don't have a lot, but we have what we need.  We have made the choice to do without most of our wants so that I am able to stay home.  This has taught us to really appreciate the things we do have, and to genuinely enjoy the simple things in life.  We eat almost all of our meals at home and at the table.  Our dates consist of going for walks, reading God's Word, attending Gospel Meetings, Bible studies with others, and working in the yard together.  We are very happy with the life we have chosen for ourselves, as we are confident it's a life that is also pleasing to God.  We are happier now than we have ever been before!

If you're a homemaker, then I encourage you to thank God for the wonderful blessing He has created for you and is enabling you to enjoy.  If you're not a homemaker, then I lovingly ask you to consider the quality of your relationship with God, your husband, your children and your brothers and sisters in Christ as well as your level of contentment with the physical possessions of this life. (1 Timothy 6:6)

May we all grow closer and closer to God with each new day He blesses us with.

  
Linked @ Titus 2 Tuesday @ Cornerstone Confessions

...be discreet...

According to Strong's and Thayer's the phrase "to be discreet" means:

     1)  to be of a sound mind, sane, in ones senses
     2)  curbing ones desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate

As women who fear God and desire to be pleasing unto Him we should strive to conduct ourselves in such a way that we meet both these definitions.  Being the emotional creatures we are, this will be a challenge for many of us.  We cannot use our emotions as an excuse for being irrational in our actions and speech.  Self-control is taught and commanded throughout the New Testament.  In Galatians 5:22, 23 it is included among the fruits of the Spirit, the fruits we should be bearing for Christ as we live here on earth.  1 Timothy 2:14, 15 talk about how the woman (Eve) was deceived and that women (in general) will be saved in "in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control."  2 Peter 1:5-7 describes how we should grow as Christians, always adding to our character becoming more and more like Christ.  Verse 6 states that we should add to knowledge self-control, and to self-control perseverance.

Being of a sound mind and curbing our desires and impulses will be of wonderful help to us as we strive to be the godly wife and mothers God commands us to be.  We must strive to think soberly, carefully weighing the consequences of our decisions.  This will help us be the "helpmeets" our husbands need us to be.  Women who are level-headed and controlled are much easier to love and lead than ones who are irrational and impulsive.  We should desire to make it easy for our husbands to fulfill the commands God has given them, rather than putting road-blocks in front of them, discouraging them from trying to serve God.

May we all strive to be discreet so that the Word of God may not be blasphemed and so that our husbands won't be able to keep from loving us and leading us in such a way that will bring us closer to God and to each other.

God bless!

 

Baby Pugh Gender and Name Reveal!

Yep!  God has blessed us with a little boy!  We are very excited about meeting our son and seeing who he will grow to be.  Watching him move around during the ultrasound was amazing!  He already has lots of energy and would hardly stay still long enough for the technician to take the pictures she was needed take!  He did pose for some really cute shots though.

Within the first week we found out we were expecting we had names picked out.  We're naming our son after two men who have been a great influence in our lives, especially Ryan's.  The first name comes from his best friend, whom he helped bring to Christ and baptized.  He recently moved 2.5 hours away to preach for a congregation in Southern Indiana.  He and his wife are amazing and have their own precious son, who will probably be one of our sons best buddies.  The middle name comes from our local preacher who has had a tremendous influence on our spiritual growth and is someone we both hold in very high regard.  Our son's name is:

Knowing the gender of our child has helped the pregnancy become more real for both of us, especially Ryan.  It's fun to call our son by name and to look at baby boy clothes in the stores.

Praying God will bless us with the wisdom and understanding needed to raise our son in such a way that he will learn to love God, trust Him, and to develop his own personal faith so that he can live his life as a faithful follower of Christ.

God bless!

"...love their children,..."

Amber is a very dear friend of mine who also happens to be an amazing mother to a super-adorable 10 month-old and a wonderful wife to a god-fearing, preacher (my husband's best guy friend).

Please take time to visit her blog The Crunchy Christian:

a blog devoted to spiritual articles centered around the Word of God.

I'm excited to write a little guest post for Jessica's series on Titus 2. She asked me to speak on teaching the younger women to love their children, since she's still pregnant and therefore even only my ten months of hands-on experience is more than hers. Unfortunately, this doesn't guarantee that I know what I'm doing.

Raising a child is unquestionably sacrificial work. Many times we need to be reminded that loving others as a Christian means so much more than harboring warm feelings; it means action and service and doing when you no longer feel like doing. Yet, in contrast, the decision to have a child is generally already weighed with the sobering realization that your life will no longer be yours and therefore, teaching "love" calls for a different approach.

When we look at the phrase in Titus 2:4, "to love their children" in the Greek (philoteknos, used only once in the scriptures), we find that it really was expressing a fondness, a tender love.

Caring for a baby full-time (since I don't have experience with older children yet), is demanding. Demanding as in you simply don't get to call the shots when your infant is hungry or tired or fussy or teething, and you can't take a day off when you're sick, tired or wanting to spend the day relaxing at Barnes & Noble with good coffee and a book; a mother takes care of her child's needs, often at the expense of her own wants. A mother is required to be sacrificial. And when sacrifice is continually demanded rather than volunteered, tender affection may quickly fizzle out.

Yet, when it comes to our discipleship, sacrifice without the heart avails nothing in the sight of God.

"This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me" - Matthew 15:8

Consider when Christ taught that even unrighteous anger would be judged as equally as murder (Matthew 5:21,22). Perhaps under the Old Law God may wink at our corrupt hearts and words, so long as our actions weren't, but Christ came and showed us the better way. He showed us that everything comes from the heart (Matthew 15:18), and if our hearts are purified, our actions will follow(Matthew 23:26).

Similarly, when our hearts toward our children are pure and tender, seeking the will of Christ above our own, our actions will follow and God will be glorified.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." - Psalm 127:3

It is so simple, even after only months of motherhood, to fall into the trap of self-pity, selfishness and frustration and therefore it is essential to remember that how we parent and how we choose to treat our blessings is very much a part of our discipleship, which is why we need the encouragement and teachings of older and experienced Christian women.

The root words of both "philandros" (the former exhortation to "love their husbands") and "philoteknos" come from "philos", meaning "friend." Have we learned this love for our children? Jessica wrote rightly that our husbands need to be our friends, best friends even, and despite the negative connotation that comes with saying it: our children need to be our friends as well. What does this mean? What does it not mean?

It does not mean indulgence. It doesn't mean an intense desire for our children's approval and it does not mean displacing discipline or rules so that acceptance or praise may come to us by our children.

It does mean always approaching our children, babies, as friends. It means looking on them as we would a dear friend. It means being willing to lay ourselves down for them, whether this comes in the form of putting off something we want or were in the middle of for our babies when they need us, or putting off negative thoughts when we wake yet again at night to care for them. Laying ourselves down for them may mean doing for them what they need, even if it means more work for us. Laying ourselves down is more than just outward action, it is a willing, loving, tender heart that motivates to action.

I want to suggest that this tender love is a decision we can make at the start of every interaction we have with them. Do we approach them with resentment and bitterness? Like a burden or an enemy? An annoyance or inconvenience? Or do we approach them humbly, with compassion and empathy? Like a friend; someone we want to see happy, someone we care deeply for, someone we will give and give for, even with nothing in return?

Do we make the conscious decision to put them first and treat them with gentleness and kindness, to the glory of God, when they're crying inconsolably and everyone is at their wit's end? When we only have half an hour left to finish dinner, or cleaning, or a project but they can't be set down? When they're fussing and screeching during services and the pressure is mounting? When we have to abandon any hope of "me time" because of a need? When things just don't go according to plan? And I can't even imagine the list as they age! Certainly, balancing the fondness and affection of friendship with discipline and authority is something that must be learned.

Something else to consider: how does our Father want us to serve Him in other aspects of our life?

"Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." - 2 Corinthians 9:7

"the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness." - Romans 12:8

"Let love be without hypocrisy..." - Romans 12:9

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

"For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one." - Hebrews 10:34

"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." - Hebrews 13:17

"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." - 1 Peter 4:9

Our hearts, our attitudes, are truly important to our heavenly Father and He is not pleased with Pharisaical, superficial obedience. He desires our love and our hearts, and if we delight in Him, we can joyfully live for Him and bear His fruit even through the mundane and tedious tasks that so often accompany motherhood.

And we ought to take joy in our children. I found a little excerpt from another blog that really expresses this point well:

"I have heard from more than one mother statements such as these: “Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but I don’t enjoy him”, or “I don’t enjoy those toddler years.” We are wrong! I don’t think we can say “I don’t enjoy my kids”. We are supposed to – they are to be cherished greatly with unreasoning affection. They are not an accessory that we pull out when convenient. They are also more than a “do-to” list (that finger is pointing squarely at me). If my children are greatly cherished, they are more important than “things”. They are more important than how I feel, and all the things that need to be accomplished. I know, here in this fallen world, in reality, I have a list of a million things to do today, but at the top of that list I need to make sure my children are cherished with great affection" (Frazzled Mama)

Sometimes it helps to see ourselves as God sees us. We can direct our minds to Him when we catch yourself not loving His gifts the way He loves us. Pray, plead for His grace and His help. Then, take a breath, smile, and love our babies with fondness and with the love described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Can I also say for a moment that without that love, it is incredibly difficult to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"? Hypocrisy kills, but unselfish and genuine love that results in joyful service demonstrates Christ.

I'm positive that there is so much more that could be explained from this text by a proper "older woman" since tender love will manifest in many different ways as the years go on. Nevertheless, the foundation is the same: let's approach our children with a gentle and friendly disposition. Sacrifice, but joyfully and humbly. Parent to the glory of God, by the grace of God. Cherish our blessings, and know that is exactly what they are.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." - Galatians 5:22,23

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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Didn't she share some great passages and thoughts for us to consider as mothers?  I personally gained a lot from reading her article, and I hope you did too!  Children are a wonderful blessing, and even though I haven't held my child yet, I am certain my life will be changed in January - for the better!  May we all grow in motherhood so that God may be glorified in the way we parent our children.

God bless!!!

The scripture behind Blissful Keeper at Home

As many of you are aware, I launched a new blog this month with the name "Blissful Keeper at Home."  I spent a lot of time considering different ideas and words to use in my blog name.  Here are some of the criteria I had come up with:

1. Inspired by God's Holy Word.
2. Convey the fact that I have joyfully accepted and embraced the role God has given me.
3. Encompass the entirety of topics I plan to post about (being a godly wife and mother, housekeeping, organizing, cleaning, decorating, planning, teaching, and being a woman professing godliness).

One evening over supper I shared a couple ideas I had with my husband.  He didn't seem to think they flowed very smoothly (I didn't really think they did either).  I asked him if he had any suggestions.  He suggested I pull the phrase "keepers at home" from Titus 2:5 (KJV).  This was perfect!  This verse along with the one proceeding it wraps up pretty much everything I wanted to blog about.  Now we just had to find a way to incorporate a word or phrase that conveyed the idea that I am truly happy as a homemaker and pursue this role with willingness and joy of heart.  After some research and the use of a thesaurus we came up with "Blissful Keeper at Home."  I fell in love with the new blog name and am so thankful my wonderful husband encouraged me to consider the admonitions Paul urges Titus to share with the older women, that they might teach the younger women to have these qualities (Titus 2:3-5).

Over the next several weeks I plan to do in-depth word studies to help myself better understand and apply these admonitions.  Please follow along so you can learn with me as I strive to grow into the woman God desires me to be. 

Rejoicing in Heaven!

Two wonderful women have been in my heart and prayers this week:  My mother who had a hysterectomy on Monday, and my mother-in-law who Sunday night told my husband that she's been thinking a lot about becoming a Christian (something we've been praying about for a LONG time).

Yesterday I spent a long, but wonderful day, with both these women.  I drove an hour and a half to spend time with my mom in the hospital, helping her with simple every-day tasks she isn't yet able to do by herself and keeping my dad company.  It was wonderful to see the improvements she made in the five hours I was there.  Her spirits were high and we had some very good conversations.  It was nice to see the answered prayers for a successful surgery and a smooth recovery.  She'll see the Dr. today, and Lord willing go home this afternoon.

When I arrived home my husband had already been over at his mom's for about an hour and a half studying the Bible with her, specifically salvation and life as a disciple of Christ.  I joined them and we studied for another hour and a half.  She had been coming to worship services with us every Sunday morning (and a few other times, too) since February/March.  She had heard (John 5:24, Acts 2:22, 33, 37, Romans 10:17) the gospel, and believed (Mark 16:16, John 1:12, John 3:14-18, 36, John 5:24, Hebrews 11:6) the Bible is the Word of God, that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to this world to die for our sins, and that her soul was not right with God.  In the those three hours Ryan taught her about the commands for repentance (Luke 13:3, Luke 24:46,47, Acts 2:38, Acts 3:19, Acts 17:30, 2 Peter 3:9, confession (Matthew 10:32, Luke 12:8, Acts 8:35-37), and baptism (Mark 16:16, Acts 2:38, 41, Acts 10:48, 1 Peter 3:21).  As we were preparing to leave she expressed that she wanted to be baptized!  So, we drove to the building and Ryan baptized his mother by the authority of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit for the remission of her sins.  What an amazing evening!  When she came up out of the water, a new creature with no sins upon her, she and Ryan hugged and we all cried tears of joy.

It was wonderful to see the joy and relief in her heart, knowing she made the best decision she can ever make and feeling the weight of her sins removed completely from her.  Praying she will grow and mature in her walk as a follower of Christ and that we will know what to do to help her remain faithful as long as God grants her life so that she may inherit eternal life (Revelation 2:10).