Tuesday, October 9, 2012

...to be obedient to their own husbands...

Of all the qualities older women are to admonish young women to possess and exhibit, this is probably the least accepted in our American society today.  However, this does not diminish the importance of this command.  So, let's take a serious look at what God expects of us as we strive to fulfill this requirement.

Here are the definitions I found for the Greek word for "obedient," hypotasso.
Strong's:  "to put in subjection, subject, subordinate; to submit to, be subject to"
Thayer's:  "to subject one's self to, to obey; to submit to one's control; to yield to one's admonition or advice."
Vine's:  "being in subjection to"

From these definitions, it's clear to me that when I chose to marry my husband, I was also choosing to submit myself to his leadership - in everything, just as I am to submit to Christ in everything (Ephesians 5:24).  God desires for wives to submit to their husbands in the same manner we are to submit ourselves to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).  This is why I was very carefully in choosing who I married.  Even though we had only known one another for about a month I knew he loved God and would always love me and lead me in such a way that would be pleasing to God.  That was all I need to know.  Almost 2 years later, I don't think I could have found anyone better!  He is a wonderful spiritual leader, loves me through his deeds and words, listens when I have a suggestion, and almost never makes a decision without first considering my thoughts and feelings, especially if the decision will effect me more than it will effect him.  He's not a tyrant and doesn't ask me to do anything ridiculous or anything beyond my capabilities.  Actually, he hardly ever asks me to do anything.  This is because I too fear God and take my role as a disciple of Christ, wife, mother, and homemaker very seriously.  He doesn't need to tell me what to do because I do my best to stay on top of things.  I'm really not trying to brag here, but rather make a point:  If we as wives are doing what God has commanded us to do then it's easier for our husbands to lead us in a loving way.

We should also note that being submissive in "everything" doesn't mean everything he could possibly ask us to do, it only means what is in accordance to God's Word.  If our husband is wanting us to do something that goes against God's will (ie. lie, steal), we do not have to obey, and should not obey because we are to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29).

When we obey our husbands we are pleasing the Lord and are only doing what is our duty to do (Colossians 3:18).

May we always seek to please God in all we do so that He may be glorified.


  1. Nice! I was not raised a believer nor ever did we walk into a church at that. So, when I met my husband I was 3 years in the Army and was pretty much used, abused, confused by men and I had a one year old son, whose father never chose to be in our lives at a certain point. I accepted Jesus into my live when my son was 1 year old. No one witnessed to me. I just happen to decide to go to church with a neighbor, I heard GOD immediately, felt HIM, was over whelmed by HIM. And, 9 months later, my husband's father died, he was stationed in Germany-he had to come State side, when the funeral was over he went to Ga., to visit friends. I exited the Army by then and lived in Ga(from N.Y.)his friends were my friends, they forced us to be introduced-neither one of us were interested in meeting each other or anyone because we both ONLY wanted to be focused on GOD and I had a son, so my focus was him and GOD. I truly did not want to have anything to do with any man at that point in my life.

    We ended up meeting, going out to dinner and 2 weeks later we married.

    We heard loud and clear from GOD, "That is your wife" and "That is your husband".

    Out of our fear of GOD we married asap.
    Now, we look back and say "Okay, that was not the smartest thing to do. GOD did not say marry immediately. "

    But, we had no wedding, we married in the Desert Storm War, all of our friends were at war.

    22 years have gone by. Honestly, I questioned God in HIS choice of the husband he gave me so many times. I felt ripped off. I didn't have a say in whom I was married to at one point.

    But, when I finally grew up, when I finally understood the Word, I was given revelation.

    GOD had to choose my husband for me because I would have made a horrific mistake if it were up to me.

    I was so broken(raped 2 times)used by the men who I called "boyfriends", that there was no way I would have seen a "good" man because I was not around any!
    I certainly lacked the wisdom, and I could not be careful like you were
    because I was not rooted in the word nor had knowledge like you did.

    I envy any young woman that are raised in the word, have wisdom and knowledge at a young age. That is why I raised our daughters to be just like that.

    GOD had to choose my husband for me.

    I KNOW now, GOD knows best.

    And I submit now, but , it took so many years of healing, learning how to trust my husband, suffering through so much that we together put each other through to UNDERSTAND those scriptures and finally, on my part, want to be obedient and open up my soul and heart to my husband.

    That is why I began The Titus Wife page.

    Because IF I had a wise woman, like yourself around that offered my compassion, guidance,truth…I would be a totally different woman and maybe, would have done a much better job in raising our children, imparting so much I know now, into them. I would have been a much better wife, would have matured, have not caused the problems that I did.

    We need to acknowledge our part in the negativity of our relationships. We need to stop being selfish and become selfless.

    I learned so much the hard way. Alone. I mean GOD was with me and HE taught me, but, if I had a Titus woman around….the possibilites…..

    So, that is why I offer myself now as The Titus woman.

    I admire how you were able to apply the word and incorporate the word into your decision making at such a young age.

    Thank you .


    1. Tammi, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. My heart goes out to all the women who do not know God and who have made poor decisions simply because of their lack of knowing and understanding of His word. That's part of the reason I started blogging, to reach out to those who may not know Him and teach them about Him and all the wonderful blessings that can be enjoyed when one chooses to follow the plan He has set up for us. :)

  2. Hi! I found you on the Delightfully Inspiring Thursday link up. This is such a great perspective on such a controversial issue among Christians. I love seeing women who delight in their role as helpers and feel confident and comfortable in appropriate submission to their husbands.

    1. Hi Courtney! Thank you for your sweet comment. Being a true woman of God is not accepted by most of society, and sadly, even among those who call themselves "Christians." I really appreciate your comment and am encouraged to know of other women who are striving to live the lives God would have them to live. :)